Gaining by Losing/First Days

We've been here for 3 full days and 1 extra night. Had a good cry this morning about missing home. There is some loss that comes with being here for the Summer along with immense gain. I miss my neighbors and their kindness and the kool-aid they make me when I stop by;  even the knowing those neighbors and the knowing I can stop by is something to miss. I miss being closer to my family and knowing I can go by if I want, or invite them over. I miss being closer to those close friends; phone calls just won't be the same. I'm going to miss our church come Sunday, though I know the one here is wonderful too, but one does does get attached to one's specific Body. On a practical level, I miss knowing where everything is; especially those health items which get me going in the morning like headache pills, lavender bags warmed up for my neck, and drawers that make sense in general (since our room here is still coming together). I miss our cat who often wakes me with snuggles in the morning and is staying with a friend in N.C. I miss the Carolina bird sounds I know so well and the hummingbirds which would be visiting our dining room window were I home right now putting food in the feeder. I miss getting to see the Japanese flowers that were just about to bloom when we headed here; I kept praying they would open before we left, but alas, they did not. I miss the privacy of one's own home and knowing my town like the back of my hand. By nature, I am a creature of pattern, routine, structure, and heavy Southern rooted-ness, so being here these first few days is a bit hard especially as we are still mostly unsettled in the room and the guy's dorm, and I still haven't learned my place here in many ways. The freedom to choose is nice as I don't have an official title on staff, but I still feel the lostness that is coming with the being in a new place, with new people, with no official job here or at home upon return, and the staff not all being here yet and us not yet on a regular schedule (though the calm before the chaos is nice and will be missed once things get going). So yeah, it hasn't been all roses; especially this morning and yesterday morning were a bit hard for this 33-year-old hobbit accustomed to her ways. 

That being said, after a morning cry and shower this morn, I did feel better, and was able to put on Stephen Curtis Chapman, fight for joy, and start to organize the chaos of our room. Getting it a little more organized and box-free was very helpful and jamming along to music about "abandoning all for the sake of the call," "doing every little thing you do to the glory of the One who made you," and "going on the great adventure" were wonderfully encouraging and helpful. The sacrifices I am making for this Summer are nothing compared to others in the Body, and my husband is so happy here; the BWC is indeed his home. And I have to admit that walking the boards Monday night and Tuesday morning made me feel like I was returning home in many ways as well. (It always amazes me in general the things that change in an environment and the things that stay the same; it's the same for people as well. Simply intriguing.) With the room coming together (Isaiah put up more privacy curtains today; I organized clothes and books and placed some World and New Horizons mags in the common area for general perusal; and bonus, I had plenty of electrolytes and water as I cleaned since some of the issue with my mood was a health one.) It's also helping that folks cleaned the common areas yesterday, and more of the Domestics Team is here, which means I've been able to help in the kitchen, and therefore start to feel like this downstairs area is more of our home which I can and am contributing to along the way. Feeling ownership is always so fruitful in being on mission and establishing place and claim. I will continue to pray that any sadness I have would be used for God's glory--emotions can be aimed and should be--for example, missing neighbors will likely help me meet the ones around us here! :) 

I'll be helping prep dinner come 3:00 and am excited to serve in these small ways and with the energy I have. I'm still quite tired due to ending the school year, but the energy is coming back as I fellowship more. I'm quite elated to be getting to know more people on staff as this first week progresses. 

When Isaiah and I first got in Monday night, we unloaded everything from the car, walked the entire boardwalk until our bodies were beyond exhausted, and came back to the dorms and slept in the chaos of our boxes with unbrushed teeth. On Tuesday, Isaiah did a morning run, afterwards we went to a cafe' and had breakfast, got groceries to last us a few days before normal dinners started, afterwards Isaiah and I shared a bubble waffle/acai bowl on the boards at one of our favorite spots (Rollin' Girls), and we later went on a sea-wall walk with the other leaders who were here (truly a wonderful night). It was incredibly windy and lovely on the sea-wall, and I got to know some of the girls and guys while looking at the beautiful ocean, remembering Isaiah and I's previous memories of the sea-wall, and in general contemplating Jane Austen's fictional sea-wall walks (esp. those in Persuasion!). I also learned from Jim Z. that Cape May is a huge birding spot, so I am quite excited about that as my passion for birds and butterflies has only grown in the past few months. On Wednesday, Isaiah ran and we did devotions, then he had 2 meetings (1 for Evangelism Team and 1 for Team Leaders) while I scoped out the Cape May Library (super beautiful with a lovely rooftop view! I think it's going to be a regular spot for me), later we went to Dragon House Chinese which was a date-spot when we lived here our first year of marriage, so it was sweet to re-visit. Isaiah later rearranged the room (which helped me a lot!--he is so good with spacing!) while I napped, and we went to Jim Z's for a bbq and Leader's Meeting together that night. It was another wonderful highlight as I got to see people I love and missed and am getting to know more! Such a sweet time of fellowship and such yummy food! 

As previously mentioned, I awoke this morning feeling sad and a bit physically ill, but again, working on the room more and helping with kitchen things has been wondrously helpful. Often, my go-to in sadness is simple tasks--putting the body to work helps ease the mind so much. I love that our kind Father gave us so many remedies in even our own structures as we work for Him heart, mind, soul, and strength. What a Kind and Good Father we serve. Getting more and more excited about what He might have for me and for us this Summer. All Glory to Him in All things. -C.